Mental Rape

Don't you feel violated - born with a virgin mind, and having all sorts of unqualified and unprocessed data pushed into it without consent? When a child, you are served with directives by your parents - which is alright, because they are basic survival tips. Thus, they go into your tender mind and form the first impressions of life and the world around you. As you grow up and receive formal education, the school texts, the print media, the mass media and your peer all contribute to your rapid knowledge acquisition; and it is at this stage that you are first told that you possess the power to choose your own destiny, to shape it according to your own will. However, with time, you increasingly realize that this so-called "choice" is an eyewash. And when this realization finally sets in, it is time you start feeling you've been mentally raped; and thenceforth, you carry the scar for life.

Am I being vague? Am I being over-critical? Am I being cynical, or is this plain and simple disillusionment with life and its processes? Let me elaborate. Upfront, people would say I am being an idealist in my approach. Maybe I am. When I am told I can chart my own course for life, I am not told that having taken that bold decision, I would face immense resistance in the form of inertia of the socio-economic system around me, overcoming which would require a herculean effort. I am supposed to figure this out by myself. Which is fair enough. No grudges there. But the problem lies in the fact that instead of being unbiased in its approach, life prefers a dumb-wit who "chooses" a conventional course of life over someone who tries to be "different". If the purpose of one's life was to act like a non-feeling dumb machine processing given set of rules with least creativity and maximum accuracy, why wouldn't computers suffice?

At a more macro level, if a government policy goes wrong, I am supposed to wait for 4/5 years before I can attempt to vote "my" chosen representative out of power. And this choice too is an eyewash. I am an insignificant speck of organic dust in this vast storm of people who stake a claim to political representation through universal adult franchize. Do I really have the power to vote in or vote out my country's top executive? When a nation tries to act arrogant and hegemonistic with the intentions of absolute world doimination, and with all its foreign policy (and for that matter internal policy) directed towards redefining "colonialism" in a modern and more subtle context, do I have a say? Millions of people staged protest marches across the world against the much-touted Iraq War. Did that stop America from ravaging Iraq? It will now go on to build another American Empire in Iraq with all its glamour of individual liberty, freedom, and the much-revered democratic governance, and in the process, take away the Iraqi peoples' right to self-determination and their nation's sovereignity. Who is to raise a voice against that?

I am taught in school and college about the virtues of social-service, about the need to serve the have-nots and the under-priveledged of the society, towards whom we all have a moral responsibility. But I ask myself today - well-educated, with a fabulous job that pays me really well, do I ever spare a thought for the needy; have I ever considered charity? No. The reason? I feel that unless I "have" enough, I cannot help the "have-nots". How much is "enough"? My choice is restricted because I am blinded by the lure of more money, more fame and more glamour. Who is to blame? Me, or the society? I am not shrugging responsibility off my shoulders. I indeed am guilty. But why is it that this guilt is going without penance? Why has this become a norm with the society rather than an exception, me?

I could ramble on for ages and still not exhaust the scenarios in which I feel I have been "violated" of my right to self-determination. Poeple would retort by saying why don't I turn a sage? And I would respond with a rather cliche answer - I am not an escapist (not to say sages are escapists, but they surely do live in oblivion of the world around them) and have been resigned to the fate of suffering bit-by-bit at the hands of this uncontrollable phenomenon of mass slumber bordering unconsciousness.

Matrix Reloaded.

All that Jazz

Why is it that no matter how talented you are, until you glamorize your worldly appearance, you appear to be non-existent? And why is it that unless you are glamorous, success is hard to come by? Glamour, as I understand it, is not only related to the glamour-world of cinema, theatre, art and fashion, but also applies to the glamour-content of life at a personal level, vis-a-vis, being suave and articulate.

Any walk of life you take, unless you have the power to express your thoughts and ideas, and a will to do so impressively, no matter how talented you are, you lag behind. One of your own peer, who would probably even be relying on you for technical support would walk away with all the glory with some sweet-talk and begged, borrowed and stolen knowledge, and you would be left tongue-tied, brooding over your personal failure.

The question that arises thus is 'how do you turn glamorous?'. Is it a command over your language besides your field of work? Is it the way of expressing yourself, no matter in how many simple words and how slowly, but with effectiveness that is the mark of a successful man? Is it the proactiveness you exhibit in taking initiative even when you are yourself low on self-confidence, or are unsure of the outcome? Is it the natural ability of being at the right place at the right time for the right people to notice the right things about you?

The answer could be any of the above. It doesn't matter. As long as you realize that being glamorous is essential to your success, I am sure you can find ways to accomplish the same through introspection and some external guidance. However, the real issue is, how many of us, despite knowing the importance of such things in life, act to put things in the right perspective. And how many of us, despite having tried, ultimately manage to succeed in this fiercely competitive world.