Alternative Realities

Sometimes I wonder what I would look like in a world of alternative realities – an uncountable set of possible outcomes born of a tired mind looking for a refreshing change from the uneventful reality of mundane existence. I see people around - people I have known for donkey’s years, constantly walk paths that increasingly digress from my own and develop distinctly different identities - identities that entice, excite, invite and enchant. The mere fact that they look different from afar adds glamour to their reality and creates a desire within that constantly nags with the question – what if?

What if my undergrad was not as uneventful? What if I had found courage to propose to that girl? What if I knew how to swim, or had played tennis or spent time in the gym more often? What if I had travelled the world a bit more to savor the varied tastes of vast lands, infinite seas and ineffable cultures? What if I had experimented with hard rock and drugs and every other conceivable contraband substance for that matter during undergrad just to prove that I was on a glorious path to discovering self and thereby find acceptance with the hip-hop and happening? What if I had rode a bike to ladakh and scaled inconceivable mountain tops to showcase my love for unbridled adventure? What if I had mugged up every conceivable trivia in order to dazzle people around with my superior knowledge of the evolution of mankind? What if I hadn’t become and engineer and chosen to be a journalist instead? What if I had continued as a softie for the rest of my life? What if I had found eternal love in discovering and adopting virgin technologies and writing indecipherable chunks of computer code that did nothing more than churn out volumes of unidentifiable green symbols on a jet black screen to paint me as a super-geek?

But here I am, on the verge of starting out as an investment banker in the financial capital of the world – London. Caught in the web of these unending what ifs, I struggle to seek balance and make peace with my self today. What if I was to accept my condition now as is and begin to feel happy and content? Yes, that sounds right. Hackneyed? Maybe. True? Most certainly!!